My heart was pounding so hard I thought it might actually explode. My palms were sweating [and thank all that is holy for that extra strength deodorant I put or my pits would be a straight-up swamp], and my vision went blurry. Every muscle in my body froze, making me move like the Tin Man. My voice reached the pubescent boy pitch, and the only thing that could have possibly made it any worse was really terrible jokes. Then came the word vomit AND the jokes.
That was when the really sweet front desk lady at Eyedeology on Peachtree and 7th walked me back into the exam room.
I am 27, and until last week, I had never been to an optometrist before. Dentist, rheumatologist, gynecologist. Psh. Easy peasy. But someone examining my eyes?! I have never been as scared as I was walking into that place. The staff instantly tried to calm me and prepare me for what was going to happen during my appointment, but I couldn’t shake my trepidation and panic.
I was downright terrified when I got into the exam room and the assistant asked me to sit on the stool, put my chin on the rest and lean forward in front of the boxiest looking torture device I’ve ever seen. I did as she said — while shaking — and she pushed the device closer to my face. How close is this lady going to get, I wondered. I had garlic hummus for lunch. Then she showed me a few pictures of this cartoon barn.
“I’m going to get really close to your eye, and this tool is going to touch your eyeball a few times,” she said. “Some people don’t feel it, some people say it tickles.”
[OMGWTF THAT THING IS GOING TO TOUCH MY EYEBALL]
You know when you’re outside walking and some bug decides your eyeball is a great place too cool off? That’s what it felt like. It’s a super new tool that replaces the giant air puff in your face thingy [which is one of the main reasons I was anxious about the actual exam].
Turns out, I didn’t have much to be scared of. Dr. Gupta was fantastic and incredibly patient with me. The best part: she’s all about preventative eye care.
I walked out of the Eyedeology office laughing at myself for being such a pathetic loser about this whole thing. The exam was a piece of cake.
…When will these glasses stop hurting my ears?